weirdest dream i've ever had

so last night before i went to sleep, watch couple of episodes of chuck while i ate satay kajang hafez bought earlier for my newlywed cousin with her parents came from malacca. after finished watching 2 episodes, i was ready to go to bed. Then i woke up this morning, realize i just had the weirdest dream ever. well, its about errr..someone who got nothing to do with me whatsoever, well maybe not directly. i dreamed she followed us to the island trip we had few weeks back for my sis' wed.remember? yeah, that trip.so she followed us, but i have no freaking idea who invited her??so in the dream, i didn't talk to her at all. she was like all blur and clueless why the hell she had to be there. until we went back home at bangi. i try to talk to her. and next thing i know, i blurt out all his past dark secret and bad things he had done behind her back when she was his girl.and she was like, couldn't believe what i've just said and she looked pretty disappointed too. and suddenly i woke up!

ok. it was weird, why..of all the people, i have to dreamed bout her?we never even met??and i never talked to her!! what the hell is this supposed to mean? have i turn to obsessed freak? to someone i barely knew??or was i obsessed with his past?? hmmm..i think it's not obsession. it's paranoid crap minded me!! *heavy sigh*

i can't live like this anymore.what the fuck??? don't i have my own life to be busy with?? why the fuck should i care about other stupid girl from his past?? why should i be so fucking worry about her taking back what once belong to her? when she didn't even give a damn about him?? yup.it's a crap talk. my crappy mind stimulates crappy thoughts of crappy things about that crappy girl and my fucking crappy man!!

Oh GOD, i desperately need to be with God, so i can find peace and calm my paranoid mind. please Almighty GOD, help me find my peace and stay in it! i hate this paranoid, insecure thinking of mine. maybe it's best we're separated for awhile. so that i can look back, and think what when wrong and i can fix myself before things get any worse.

-self motivation naqyah, self motivation-

p/s: wanna go to bukit ampang before he goes, sooo badly.;(